The Disneyland Report > Haunted Mansion Script
Disneyland Haunted Mansion Script
The following is the narration for the Haunted Mansion attraction at Disneyland:
When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still. That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, your ghost host. Kindly step all the way in please and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now.
Our tour begins here in this gallery where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: This chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!
Of course, there's always my way.
Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely; the real chills come later. Now, as they say, look alive, and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please. There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts from all over the world. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand. Any volunteers? If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer. The carriage that will carry you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world will accommodate you and one or two loved ones. Kindly watch your step as you board, please. We spirits haunt our best in gloomy darkness, so remember, no flash pictures, please.
And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please! We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.
Do not pull down on the safety bar, please; I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times.
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhh, listen!
All our ghosts have been dying to meet you! This one can hardly contain himself!
Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through. Perhaps Madame Leota can establish contact. She has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied.
Horntoads and lizards, fiddle and strum. Please answer the role by beating a drum!
Ghost fiends and furies, old friends and new! Blow in a horn, so we'll know whether it's you!
Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat; call in the spirits, wherever they're at.
Rap on a table; it's time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond.
Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween. Awaken the spirits with your tambourine.
Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond; let there be music, from regions beyond!
Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell!
The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They're assembling for a swinging wake, and they'll be expecting me. I'll see you all a little later.
Grim Grinning Ghosts:
When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake,
Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide,
As the moon climbs high o'er the dead oak tree,
When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
If would like to join our jamboree there's a simple rule that's compulsory. Mortals pay a token fee. Rest in peace, the haunting's free; so hurry back, we would like your company!
Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate, if
you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying
to have you!
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